flat tire
Friday, after picking at the plot, we were headed back to the trailer. A little clicking/brushing noise was heard. Aaron remarked about it and I told him it must be a piece of gravel or something. He said "I think you have a flat tire." To which I casually dismissed his opinion, while at the same time wondering what I would do in such a situation. During this exchange he was looking out his side mirror and said "I'm watching your tire and I think it's flat." I practically shouted "We do not have a flat tire, stop saying that!! If we had a flat it would be making the flub,flub,whop,whop whop sound!!!"
Less than a minute later I heard a flat tire. An expression from my former life shot passed my lips. Ok, we have a flat. This is not rocket science. Of course, due to a laundry delay I was wearing one of the few Sunday dresses I own. Aarrgh!! I opened a side panel at the rear of the van to dig out the jack kit, buried since it left the Ford factory.
Swimming, starting a fire, shooting a gun, driving (either car or in my area a horse), are all relevant skills to possess. Changing a tire is def on that list. What a loser. You farm? Really? And you can't change a tire??? HA HA HA HA.
This is not exactly true. In my defense I have never had the opportunity to change a flat, all by myself. Not to be intimidated, I read the instructions. Now if the instructions are wrong, which it turns out they were, then prior experience would have alerted me to that fact. Instead, dutifully tried to lower the spare cable with the short lug wrench, which would not clear the bumper! The van has a factory installed tow package which prevented the spare from swinging out. I was wondering, what idiot would place a spare behind a tow package? Meanwhile, I was trying not to ruin my Sunday dress. If I had my work dress on I would have slithered under the van like a proper grease monkey, instead of a sissy, bent over peering. By now I felt I should make a call.
My mechanic (yes, his number is in my cell phone) explained that I needed to release that cable a whole lot more, so the spare would come all the way down to touch the ground. Thanks. Even with the tire all the way down I still couldn't get it past the tow package. Maybe if I lift the van I could slide it clear. I also called my neighbor Delmar, the same Delmar who rescued me when the well quit one night awhile back. He gave a few suggestions and I thanked him but told him I was managing and did not need him to rescue me again.
I could not position the jack under the rear axle in the correct spot. The tire was in the way. But I needed to jack the van to get the tire off. I pictured a ripped dress full of grease. Some time had elapsed and I decided to give Allstate Roadside Assistance a call, after all that is the logical thing to do.
Have you noticed humans do not answer phones? The computerized voice ask for the usual info and demanded I give my location. "I don't know" was not comprehended, several times. I tried pressing zero for a human, no dice. I travel this road weekly, but was at a loss as to which township this particular stretch belonged. I knew the Jackson Farm was close. My phone rang. Delmar's human voice ask how I was progressing. I explained my situation and that I was trying to contact Allstate. He was thinking about which township I might be stuck. After some ruminating he declared if I waited for roadside service I could be sitting there till supper time. Well.......you can guess that 20 minutes later Delmar was indeed rescuing me.
He got the van jacked, the tire off, the rest of the cable let out using a skinny set of 1/4" poles that came with the jack, put the spare on and secured the lug nuts with a socket powered by his DeWalt cordless. Yup. Did I mention there was a light rain falling to provide atmosphere during this exercise in stupidity?
Yesterday I took the flat tire to a shop to have it fixed. No go. Not fixable, due to sidewall being wrecked from driving under low pressure for too long. Early last month I was due for an oil change and tire rotation. I ended up putting that off, very expensive mistake. A new tire will run about $154 with labor and tax etc. Stupid. Just so stupid.
Things could have been worse; with a full blow-out I might have wrecked the van. Let's just say I learned another life lesson.